Seven Weeks Until Spring!

SPRING

Ok guys, February is my least favorite time of year. Last year I dyed my hair purple, this year I’m beginning a challenge! Seven weeks until springtime, let’s focus on our health so that we can power through the gloomy months instead of staying cocooned under our blankets wishing for the sunshine.

-If you want to get in better shape
-If you want to learn about nutrition and eating “clean”
-If you want to increase your endurance, your strength, your speed
-If you want to improve your health so you can do activities with the ones you love.
-If you’re just curious about the “Beachbody” thing

Come join me! This is a challenge for everyone, from ANY starting point on your fitness journey. Bring me your old knee injuries, your tired of cyclical dieting, your frustrated with gym creepers, your fatigue, your pain, your “just plain sick of it all” and lets see if we can get you started on something that works for YOU. (Beachbody offers money back guarantees on almost everything, too, so do it for a lark and return it if it doesn’t work). OR bring me your wanting “a bit more”, your “need to be faster”, your “stuck in a plateau” and let’s see if we can’t push your limits.

The rule is you have to commit to either drinking Shakeology for seven weeks, or commit to one of the workout programs (some of them are only 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes! With modified exercises! You can do that!). How much you want to do is up to you, but I’ll be right there with you head down, barreling through, praying for warmer, sunshine filled days. Follow the link to pick your poison! I mean, uh, find a healthier you!

**You can choose how you want to do your thing-through the accountability groups on facebook or through me just harassing-um-supporting you through emails, texts, what have you-or any combination! Start small, go big, just do SOMETHING. One step at a time, folks, slow is a completely acceptable pace (and faster then the guy sitting on the couch).

***Shakeology came out with a new Cafe Latte flavor, too, for all you coffee drinkers! OR you can add cold coffee DIRECTLY TO YOUR SHAKE. You can still have coffee, is what I’m saying. 😉

 

Thoughts on Body Image from a Skinny Christian Woman

After my workout on Tuesday I went to take a shower-boy did I need it-and did the customary “look over” in the mirror before hopping in. You know the one I’m talking about. You kinda just take quick check on your appearance while the water heats up, maybe pluck a few stray chin hairs (don’t judge! You know it happens…) suck in your stomach and turn sideways, and then shrug and jump in to get clean. I’ve been feeling convicted a lot recently about body image. As I dive deeper into the Beachbody coach thing, I know I need to find places to draw my boundaries, and I know I want to promote a HEALTHY lifestyle-not necessarily a skinny one. But a lot of times I feel like a hypocrite, because I AM skinny. And that led me to dig even deeper and here are some things that surfaced.

I am ashamed of being thin. It’s not just the feeling like my boniness is ugly, or the wondering whether I’d be more attractive heavier (both things I thought a lot during high school and college). It’s this feeling that my size is a problem. My appearance is hurtful to others. Somehow, my being thin makes it harder on others who aren’t thin. My pant’s size is responsible for other people’s lust, envy, bitterness, and disgust. My tall, lean frame pretty much causes people to have eating disorders. Being skinny is my fault. And being skinny is wrong. If I were a super-villain, my power would be driving by and zapping people into anorexia.

Some of these points were driven home in college where appearance was everything and yet my body was apparently “up for grabs”. I often felt isolated from people I wanted to connect with because of how I looked. I managed to worm my way into a great group of friends-most of whom would be considered geeks or nerds to the rest of the world-but in the early stages one of them (bless him for his honesty) flat out asked me why I was hanging out with them, to not take it the wrong way, but I looked more like the sorority type. I despised my body during college. I was constantly slammed with the mentality that to be pretty was everything, and if I measured up to the mark I was a slut, but if I didn’t measure up I was worthless. This was all hateful, hurtful nonsense.

Through much prayer, and growth, and the confidence that comes from being in a supportive, loving marriage the hurt and disgust faded away. BUT, I’ve realized that there is still lingering shame I’ve been masking. I don’t like working out with people because I am very body conscious. I’m conscious that in many athletic settings I am usually one of the thinnest people in the room. I feel like that means I should be fitter than I am. I feel like this also means woman hate me for being thin and working out (both MY perceptions, coming from me, not grounded in reality). I make excuses for my size-good genetics, I love working out, don’t really have much of a sweet tooth to fight, etc, etc, etc. I focus on my weaknesses to try and put people at their ease-for example, I really am a SLOW runner. Like, sure, I finished two ultras, but I was second or third to LAST. I focus so much on the health benefits of eating well and exercising to try and write off my appearance as inconsequential. In fact, I may sabotage my own efforts at becoming fit because I am worried about the impact on others. None of that is emotionally or psychologically healthy-in fact, it is all rather self centered. Seriously, my body type is causing all these problems in others? Well aren’t I a celebrity. PUH-lease!

Downplaying my appearance gets frustrating, and eventually it boils over into almost furious diatribes of how I AM healthy and people SHOULD lose weight and they can just STICK MY PANT’S SIZE IN THEIR PIPE AND SMOKE IT. Which results in me then feeling guilty for being angry and bitter, and I’m back to being ashamed. Because secretly, guilty, oh so secretly- I like what I look like. I’m proud of my body and how it works. I like my appearance. There are parts I don’t like as much, sure, but overall, I feel like a good looking woman. But I shouldn’t, right? Because me LIKING being thin and fit means I’m giving other people body image issues.

Bottom line: body image isn’t easy, it’s a mess in my head, and I don’t have it all straight. But here is where I am in this journey-

First and foremost, we are made in the image of God. Our physical appearance matters, because it reflects our creator. He did not make our bodies for us to despise. Our physical bodies are the conduit for Christ on earth. The local church is made up of believers physically present together. I should not downplay my body, I should not despise it. I should NOT abuse it. I should love it, and care for it, and use it on this earth for the glory of God. Learning how-and implementing-a healthy lifestyle so that I can care for my body in all ways includes physically. This is not the same as worshiping my body. It does not mean I should put my physical needs over others. It does not mean I should be enamored with my own appearance or judgmental of others’. It means it’s ok to like how I look, it’s ok to appreciate how my body works, it’s ok to work at being healthy. It is ok to find joy-and pleasure- in this earthly form.

It’s true, my genetics mean my skeletal frame is taller and narrower than others-but that is how I’m made. It’s also true that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and if people look at my shape and become embittered or envious-that is their struggle, not mine. It is also true that I have my own issues-like anemia-so eating balanced and maintaining muscle are things I need to constantly do. Spiritual health takes continual, committed development. Emotional health takes continual, committed development. The health of your mind takes continual, committed development. The health of your body requires no more and no less.

So, I’m working on it. I am working on resolving the shame and being proud of the beautiful, strong body I have been given. I am learning to embrace my size as healthy for ME, and let go of the idea that my appearance is personally responsible for the issues of others. I do not advocate that everyone has to be thin to be healthy, but for my frame thin IS healthy and I am praying for help to remove the unwarranted guilt. I don’t have aspirations to be a competitor in any fitness arena-that just isn’t me-but I am going to keep building and strengthening and taking pleasure in the physical changes that occur as a result. I believe balance in all areas of life can be attained within a healthy lifestyle, and fear of something becoming an obsession is already an unhealthy way of filtering the world. I want to be fit. I want to have muscle definition. I want to look good-for myself and for my husband. But what I want most is to enjoy this earthly body; to take care of it and to take pride in it because it is a much appreciated gift.
The hard boundary, the line I will strive to never cross, is to turn the intentional habits of eating well and exercise into something I worship. It will be a vital part of my life, but it will not be the most important thing in it. Balance is key.

**I am aware that this topic goes much deeper than I have chosen to, and I have done just that-chosen-to not take it farther. Partially because I am not a theologian, partially because this is already a long post, and mostly because I’m still plunging the depths myself. This is a tiny segment of a continuous mental dialogue.**

I’ll leave you with these photos: the first taken my last year before graduating from Penn State. The second taken 6 months after the birth of my oldest. The first one makes me cringe- I am cynical, bitter, and sarcastic, wanting to some how take control of the body image mess by tossing it in people’s faces. I am silly, joyful, and free in the second. I would not go back to that point in college for all the money in the world. You are so much more than your appearance-but it’s fine to like what you look like. Balance.

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*credit for the second photo goes to Georgina who took some amazing photos of me, my husband, and Cade that day.

A Recipe! And an update…

I don’t like scrolling through posts to find the recipe, so, if you just want the recipe-here it is.

Quinoa Chicken Parmesan with Spiralized Zucchini Noodles

Rating: 5

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 30 minutes

Total Time: 50 minutes

Yield: 4

Quinoa Chicken Parmesan with Spiralized Zucchini Noodles

Ingredients

  • 1 cup quinoa
  • 1 Tbsp dried Italian seasoning
  • 2 large boneless, skinless Chicken breasts, cut in half, so they are thin (or use 4 small breasts, and pound them, thin & evenly sized)
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
  • 1/2 cup almond flour or whole wheat flour
  • 2 large eggs, beaten
  • 1/4 cup all natural
  • shredded mozzarella cheese (optional)
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 cup low-sugar organic marinara sauce
  • 1/4 cup fresh basil leaves, chopped

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees f.
  2. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. (I used avocado oil or olive oil spray)
  3. In a large saucepan, cook quinoa according to package instructions.
  4. Stir Italian seasoning into cooked quinoa, set aside.
  5. Season chicken with garlic powder, sea salt and pepper, to taste.
  6. Working in small batches, dredge chicken first in flour, dip into eggs, then dredge in quinoa mixture, pressing slightly to coat each breast.
  7. Place chicken onto the prepared baking sheet. Place in the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown, and cooked through.
  8. Top with cheeses and marinara.
  9. Place into oven and bake until cheeses have melted, about 3-4 additional minutes.
  10. Serve immediately over spiralized zucchini noodles (I tossed my zucchini in a hot skillet with a touch of olive oil, sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, for 3 minutes before serving)
  11. ?CleanFoodCrush.com/Spiralizer
  12. Garnish with fresh basil.

All Credit goes to Clean Food Crush blog. I found it on Facebook and pinned it to my Pinterest account.

The only tips I have are -don’t be afraid to season, season, season. I’ve thrown out “measuring” my spices a long time ago, I know which ones I like more of and which ones I like less and I dump it all in accordingly. BUT in order to make this SOOOOO TASTY don’t be afraid to season your quinoa-quinoa needs a lot of help in the flavor department in my opinion, haha. Also, I used spelt flour instead of whole wheat (and she mentions almond flour as another option). Spelt is not only a sprouted grain, but it also has a light, sweeter flavor instead of the cardboard taste of whole wheat. Lastly, I flipped the breasts over before adding the marinara and cheese for the last four minutes, so that the crunchier quinoa got covered in cheese. OH so good.

Now, the update. I have been sore for a full week and a day. It’s been awesome. I did three chin ups today. YEAH BABY! Then I pretty much collapsed in a heap and whimpered and it currently hurts my biceps to type, somehow, but hey, that’s unimportant. We got some more weights to fill in our weight gaps (I needed an 8 and a 12lb) so I’m ready to really start upping the weight in the coming workouts. I admit, I don’t like the stop start nature to weight workouts, I prefer the constant flow of things like PiYo or even some p90x stuff (though he does stop start some, too), but I can’t argue with the results. I’m getting stronger even as I feel weaker, haha. And I’ve lost a few pounds of fluff that I’m hoping now to convert to muscle.

I’m really enjoying this meal planning stuff. The annoyance of meal planning is put in the balance of absolutely not stressing about food during the day. It is WORTH IT. I am adding a container or two tomorrow-a veggie and/or a fruit-because I’m still hungry throughout the day. My metabolism is already fairly fast (thanks, genetics!) so even though my target plan is on point no matter how I measure it out, I’m burning through it. The point of this is NOT to be hungry all day-Autumn talks about how detrimental it is for your body to go into starvation mode-so I’m upping the food. This is triply important since I want to GAIN muscle.

Also, the food is so good. Remember that series I did on picky eating? Remember how essentially the advice, “Don’t force your kids to eat anything, make sure there is always something they like on the table” was repeated throughout? That’s what I’m doing. The boys always get something I know they like on the table (and usually that is what they eat) whereas I get to cook MY food (and offer it to them if they want it, of course). This means I get to cook food I like without caring one wit on whether or not my finicky 2.5 year old will have a single bite… Pure. Bliss.

OH! And I’m helping out in a 21 Day Fix accountability group and am really enjoying it. 🙂 If anyone is interested shoot me an email at slowisapace@gmail.com it’s a pretty cool program.

The end!

Day 3

Tonight wraps up Day 3 of Hammer and Chisel so I’m going to give a brief “first impression” of the program. The workouts are killer. They are weight workouts, so some moves I am not used to doing although I can-and have-successfully navigated the machines of the traditional gym in the past. Most of it is just really hard. Which is awesome. It is pushing limits for me, and I am relishing that top to bottom achy soreness that comes with changing up an exercise routine.

The guy, Sagi, is everything I have ever wanted from a traditional gym trainer. He even has an accent. So between the crazy body builder physique, the sometimes mixed up metaphors, the angry partially frightening encouragement in the form of yelling-it’s great. He gives me the impression that he really knows his stuff, but leading a class is not entirely inside his comfort zone. I loved it. If that isn’t for you, the workout more than makes up for whatever issue you have with his teaching style. It’s really tough, but not “if you attempt this you will be injured” tough. I’ve had to modify a bunch in both his and Autumn’s workouts, and I am still toast by the end of them.

Autumn’s workouts leave me equally sore, but they are slightly different from Sagi’s. They’ve broken up the workout so that she is “The Chisel” and Sagi is “The Hammer” and its as good a description as I can come up with on how their workouts differ. Her’s seem to focus on that extended stamina build up in muscles and the toning, whereas Sagi’s is more power/strength oriented. Her teaching style isn’t bad, and she doesn’t sling around TOO many cliches and platitudes so I don’t end up wanting to throttle her by the end of the workout.

The nutrition is basically 21 Day Fix (Autumn’s nutritional program) complete with the color coded containers. I have been intrigued by this program for almost a year now and was SO excited when I found out it was part of H&C. The other programs I’ve done (p90x3, CIZE, PiYo) have nutrition guides, too, but nothing as easy for me to follow as Autumn’s. It is somewhat reinventing the wheel, because she essentially takes the recommended calories for your gender and size (taking into account whether you are looking at losing weight, maintaining, or building muscle) and then providing a simple guide to how many portions of which food group you should be eating. What makes it so cool, though, is those containers. They’re color coded and different sizes and show you what a “serving size” looks like. To make sure I’m getting enough veggies in my afternoon salad, I just stuff the kale and spinach into my green container until it is full and then dump it into my bowl. Voila! A serving of vegetables. It’s easy to say, “You should get x amount of servings of fruit a day” but it is really hard to know what that actually LOOKS like in real life. How big is a serving of carbs compared to a serving of protein? How much does a serving of “healthy fats” really mean? I have been amazed that the seemingly minuscule “seeds and salad dressings” container easily holds enough to provide flavor to every leaf of my 2 veggie servings of salad. It also makes it really easy to track, which means for the first time in my adult life I am probably actually getting enough protein in my diet.

This meal planning has completely taken away the stress of mealtime. I decided the boys were just going to live off of their favorites for the next 60 days so I make food I know they’ll eat with every meal. They are always welcome to try what I am eating, but I don’t stress about finding a dinner that “everyone will like”. I’m cooking for me. Zane will try almost anything, Cade has tried more then I thought he would, but everyone ends up with a full belly by the end of the meal.

Getting healthy doesn’t happen by accident, there has to be intention behind it. It can be little changes, it can be a complete lifestyle overhaul, but it won’t happen by itself. ….so yeah, you should try it sometime. 😉

Second Christmas

So this week gearing up for Hammer and Chisel has been busy and nervewracking. You know, that antsy, fidgety, anticipatory energy like right before giving a speech on something you’re passionate about or running a race or anything you are kindof dreading and excited about all at the same time? That’s how I feel. It’s almost like being a kid at Christmas and being so excited your stomach starts hurting and you begin to imagine all sorts of disasters that might happen to ruin Christmas and by the time Christmas morning arrives- screw presents, you’re utterly exhausted with relief that the cat didn’t become demon possesed and eat Santa Claus.

Tomorrow is my second Christmas morning.

In preparation this week I have created an instagram account to track my progress on here. Come follow me! I have pinterest recipe scoured, meal planned, grocery shopped, food prepped, ToDo list checked, and weekly scheduled in anticipation of the next 60 days.

One thing I thought was important was having some way of tracking progress. Before and After photos are typical- and I took them.

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Personally, I’m looking for a little more toe gap. How ever will I fit into sandals come summer?!

On top of that, I did a mini “strength test” because for me, honestly, the joy of exercise is not in my appearance but in my capability. So I did a plank, and just barely managed to hold it for 2 minutes. And a wall sit-also struggled to hit that 2 minute mark. And then I attempted pullups (you can see the video on my instagram account… *hint hint* FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM). I managed two and a quarter pull ups. All together, guys, that’s pretty lame. I mean, much better than a few months ago where I couldn’t even do ONE pull up, but still a far cry from where I want to be.

I’m gonna be a beast at the end of this, able to “fly” my 2.5 year old like an airplane for hours, muscle my squirming 15mo old down for a diaper change (a complete body workout) without fail, and double carry the boys 60lbs combined wiggly weight the quarter mile to and from the park without breaking a sweat. I’ll be able to pry them off of the playground one handed, play “ribbet frog” down the hallway until THEY call it quits, and still have enough energy to run and catch them when I say it’s nap time.

It’s going to be epic.

It isn’t to late (it is never too late) to join in the fun! Whether it’s a weight program like H&C, a nutrition plan, yoga, just trying to quit soda-everybody has to start somewhere with living healthier. And now is a GREAT time to start-New Year and all that. Don’t struggle by yourself, come over to the health nut dark side! We have communities of likeminded weirdos in various stages of learning to live healthy, it’s totally cool! Seriously though, let me know what I can do to help you meet your goals, I can’t emphasize enough how important support is for success. 🙂

I’VE GOT TO GO TO BED IT’S H&C EVE! 😀

Snooking Up Hoflakes

^^^ I meant to say, “Hooking up snowflakes” but my tired brain turned our kid friendly conversation PG13. Decorating with toddlers is not for the faint of heart…

This extended visit with family has been nuts, y’all. I cherish the healthy, happy relationships I have with my family and in-laws, and family is a priority for me-I want the boys to know their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. This is tough being military since we’ve been in for 7 years and lived in 4 different states already. Holidays are especially frustrating for me because I wrestle with seasonal depression every winter-so annoying. So I knew this trip was going to be rough. I knew it was also something I needed to do.

Oh man. I brought my bag of ShakeO-which with it’s full compliment of B vitamins (include happy lovin’ B12) has been helping to keep me just above emotional exhaustion. And it tastes better than the pill supplements I usually take this time of year, ha. Grandparents have been awesome-spotting me naps here and there, providing an outlet for the boys’ need to hug/tackle people, and generally giving me a break. I miss Brian-it’s like a mini deployment, boo. I have NOT been able to exercise regularly. 🙁 A number of things have contributed to that, but it’s a bummer all the way around.

I’ve come to the realization that I am now REALLY sensitive to sugar and caffeine. I went in knowing I was going to bend my typical diet (diet as in “foods I usually consume” not diet as in “weird list of restrictions/rules pertaining to eating” ) because it’s the holidays and I was not going to stress about it. So I didn’t stress. I had coffee and oreos and ice cream whenever I felt like it (read:daily). After a few days I couldn’t drag myself out of bed and I had a perpetual headache drugs didn’t touch. So no more of that. Or at least, far, far less, haha. I still like the above foods, but whoa, not enough to deal with feeling pummeled by a dump truck. I’m feeling much better now, and I am still indulging in sweet tea which is enough caffeine and sugar for me. Is there such a thing as a sugar hang over? Also, I just can’t do fastfood. Instant gross. Not only does it taste gross, it feels gross. Bleeeeeeaaarrggh. I don’t miss it.

Big perks though-I still cook dinner most nights, and I don’t have ANY leftovers because my parents eat it. 😀 I LOVE having my food EATEN. I can cook meals that I like-regardless of whether the boys will eat it or not-and I know I won’t have to eat leftovers for the next four days! And, on that note, I really like home cooked meals better than eating out. Don’t get me wrong, there are nights when I want to eat out just because I really don’t feel like cooking, but I used to like eating out for the sake of the food. Now I eat out for the sake of not cooking-my mom and I can make better tasting food at the house.

That’s my update for now. I’m getting really excited about the Hammer and Chisel program Brian and I are doing together starting January 4th-oh how nice it will be to exercise faithfully again! There’s still time to join us if you’re looking for a way to get healthier in 2016. And if not that program, there are many, many other options. I know people now, lol.

But seriously, maybe think about a few wellness goals for the new year?

Cool beans!

This’ll be a brief post to relay two things:

One, yes I’m still alive and yes I’ll be blogging again! I’m on an extended holiday visit with family, so everything is a bit odd right now-crazy, but in a good way. The boys and I are staying at my parents, Brian will join us for Christmas week. Trying to get the boys settled and on track in the confusion of things is taking it’s toll, in addition to all of the typical hustle and bustle of the holiday seasons. But! I will be blogging again, maybe even before Christmas. If not before Christmas definitely after.

And two: I earned a cruise to Jamaica through Beachbody! How cool is that? I thought it was pretty cool. The name Beachbody irks me a little, but I really like how the business is run and am enjoying the feeling of “company” or “community workout buddies” when it comes to eating healthy and exercising regularily. Anywho, I won’t be going on the cruise because I really don’t like cruises, but I think it’s cool I earned a spot! I was excited anyway, haha.

By the way, it isn’t too late to join the Hammer and Chisel challenge we are starting in the New Year. We’re doing it with a relationship twist, but you can just ignore that part if you aren’t interested. Should be fun. 🙂

That’s all I’ve got. Be back writing soon.

We Interrupt Your Scheduled Program…

Sundays are my rest days. I don’t exercise, I don’t cook much-it’s pancakes for dinner, and I generally relax, recoup, and spend time with my family. We’ve been trying different churches here in El Paso in the mornings, and I’m going to attempt another OCF meeting tonight. I’m mentioning this because it’s something I haven’t yet talked about on here but that is inextricable from healthy living. Not just rest, but wholeness. I focus a lot on physical health on this blog, but emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health are equally as important, and in my opinion Spiritual wellness trumps all the others. So today’s blog isn’t about food relationships (we’ll get back to that tomorrow) it’s gonna be a bit rambling and not quite as organized, but I need to throw it out there. Much like I was nervous about posting that I am a Beachbody coach and I’m enjoying their trademark drink Shakeology, I need to make it clear to any readers that I am a Christian and my faith is a driving force behind what I do. I can’t separate it out. Exercise, for me, is also a worship experience. Loving my body is directly inline with loving the God who created it for me.

I’m ADHD (see, told you this post would be scattered) and the hardest thing for me to do is shut down my brain. As a child I remembered trying a watch under my pillow (I ended up counting the ticks and was in the 3000’s before I finally chucked it across the room), praying, reading, shadow puppets, ANYTHING to get my brain to SHUT UP. I’d stay awake well over an hour past bedtime listening to my little sister snore away and I’d get increasingly frustrated that I couldn’t fall asleep. I finally figured out what worked best-absolutely zero light, going to bed about an hour before I wanted to fall asleep, and creating an elaborate story in my mind that I would replay, rearrange, and continue scenes of in my head every night. I began to look forward to bedtime just so I could work on my mind story. Now, I still have a hard time falling asleep, but the mind numbing exhaustion that comes with having children helps a lot and I can fall asleep in under half an hour most nights.

But when I exercise-my mind relaxes. It is the most addicting part of exercise for me. For 30 minutes a day I focus singly on exercising my body, so-since that paradoxically takes up all my focus and allows me to UNfocus-I get 30 minutes of relaxation while doing squats, and planks, and whatever. Running is the best. Sometimes when I’m running I can almost think of nothing. Just the typical sensory input of the where I am running, what it looks like, how my feet feel, etc. etc. So while I’m exercising, I often pray. Not generally articulate words-although sometimes I do when I’m running-but more of just a constant dialogue of gratitude and amazement for the strength in my muscles and the feel of a stretch and the wonders of a warm and loving home with beautiful children who are active and healthy and just, thanks. Over and over again thanks.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have grumpy workouts, too. But workouts where I start grumpy and END grumpy are very, very, seldom. I am struck anew again and again by how complex the human body is, and am re-fascinated by how everything works to give me motion and balance and strength, how everything feels-from the pounding of my heart to the mat squished beneath my toes to the flush I feel creep up my skin as my body temp rises. Exercise for me is sensual, and things sensual for me are always spiritual. Many people really appreciate music, they feel it body and soul. I feel body and soul when I exercise. My God, My God, how You have created me!

This is why the scale has no power over me (I quite honestly don’t know where ours is currently, haha). I like progress, sure, but who I am and my self-worth is not based on my appearance or weight. I want to be healthy, to feed my body the food it needs, to build my muscles, to keep my skeletal system strong, to fortify my immune system, to be kind to my digestive system, to essentially care for this earthly body that was given into my care. It all circles back to that. And I experience such joy in this. There are days where I don’t want to, there are days where it is hard to turn the TV on and start warming up. I have two small boys who are nonstop from the moment they wake up until they fall asleep again. I. Am. Tired. But the discipline of an exercise program is part and parcel of where I find my joy. I suck at the “typical” daily devotionals- I usually read theology books in chunks and then digest them over a week or two-but if I exercise I get that chance to pray, and doing it faithfully is, for me, a tiny way to faithfully worship Christ.

SO there you have it, my drive and motivation for staying healthy is one of complete wellness, not for a number on a scale or a certain dress size. I am not trying to say all Christians should worship when they sweat (Here I am to workout, Here I am to burpee, Here I am to pushup for you’re my God…) or that every time I sweat I am having a stellar communique with the divine. But this IS the biggest single motivation/reward/drive for why I strive to lead a healthy lifestyle. Until I get my heavenly body, I will do my best to treasure the earthly one.

Just thought you should know. 🙂

Workout Buddy Fail

Brian and I don’t really get the chance to run together much anymore (my dream of ultra marathoning again are going to be on hold until the kids are a bit older) and I miss that time together. So when one of the teams I’m in announced an up coming “Couples Retreat” type Challenge in the New Year I was super excited. Workouts for both to complete, meal planning (although Brian would opt out of that I’m sure) and maybe marriage type questions/surveys/flash challenge thingies-“Enrichment Activities” whatever that may mean, haha. Sounds so great! Quality time spent getting fit with my hubby again WOO!

Tonight I got him to join me for my scheduled daily workout-p90x3 Warrior.

Oh man. I’d forgotten how hard it is to actually workout with that man. Not because I’m body conscious around him or embarrassed or anything (seven years of marriage, we are waaayy past holding farts in each other’s presence) but because he makes comments throughout that usually result in either me laughing too hard to continue the exercise or in me trying to smack him. At one point he was squat hopping to avoid the ceiling fan like a cross between Quasimodo and Sméagol- we completely missed the last 30 seconds of whatever it was we were supposed to be doing. It was a total workout buddy fail. I mean, we got a workout in, my heart rate was up, I hit muscle failure a few times–but I also took more pauses so I could make my own snide remarks and I don’t think I’ll be at all sore from it.

It was great.

So yeah, I think we’ll sign up for “Hammer and Chisel” coming in January. My fitness may not improve all that much, but quality time with Brian like that is priceless. 🙂

Anyone is welcome to join! Let me know if it’s something you’d be interested in, I’ll try to keep a steady stream of blog posts during it so you at least can laugh at our only ever attempt at a “relationship building” endeavor, but misery loves compa… er… I mean… the more the merrier! 😛

***Conversation at the start of the workout***

Me: Are you really going to workout in your underwear?

Brian: They are longer than my running shorts.

Me: …

^^^True story, they really are longer.^^^

Slump

“And when you’re in a slump, you’re not in for much fun

Un-slumping yourself is not easily done…” -Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go.

I had that awesome happy moment of feel good when I realized I’d trimmed some inches off last week, and I started p90x3 charged up and raring to go. But, honestly, I’m now in a slump. I almost didn’t work out at all today, feeling grumpy and tired and just icky. There is so much to be done to get ready for this move, the house is so chaotic, the boys are alternately clingy cuddle monsters and hyper misbehaving fools because that’s how they deal with stress-and it is so obvious to me that they are stressed which makes me feel like I’m a terrible mom because not only am I not able to spend as much time playing/reading/engaging with them as normal, they need more time then usual since I should really be helping them adjust better to this huge upheaval of their little lives. I’m worn out. And irritated. And trying really hard not to think about how much I’m going to miss my neighbor and her twins. I’m a mess, you guys.

I managed to work out, but it wasn’t pretty. For the sake of honesty; I stopped a bunch, I modified some, I skipped the cool down and did my own. Then I found Brian and griped to him about the workout before showering. Although I like Tony’s coaching style better then I like Chalene’s, when I finished a PiYo I was SORE. When I finish a p90x3 I typically am sweaty, breathing hard, and my joints are achy-but no muscle soreness. I clearly don’t have the muscle strength to do half of the exercises correctly, and he moves at such a quick pace to cram everything into 30 minutes that I don’t ever have time to get the hang of an exercise (or a direction IN the exercise) before he’s changed it up-which just leaves me feeling frustrated. I’m scrambling around like a demented bug, hopping, crawling, spinning, flailing-it’s ridiculous. And for what?

You know what would motivate me in these workout videos? Someone WITHOUT a six pack and bulgy muscles hopping, crawling, spinning, flailing-and collapsing-just like me. Someone who isn’t in sync, can’t bounce around all speedy and hardcore, who flubs a landing, who stops in the middle of an exercise, who doesn’t have it all together. And then maybe at the end they could do an “after” picture of that person after they had completed all 90 days of the program. Show me people LIKE ME who are getting results. Show me that my struggling and sweating and tripping over my own feet will give me progress. Put someone ordinary in the workout videos, so I can cheer them on in my head while we both stumble through the moves.

So I grumbled my way over to my neighbor (who is two weeks ahead of me in this program) and she reminded me of the progress she’s noticed in her strength and weight redistribution and now I feel a little better. Which just makes me feel worse because WHO AM I GOING TO GRUMBLE TO WHEN I MOVE?!

Well. That would be you guys. Do you ever hit workout slumps? What do you do to help overcome them? Anybody have progress to report? I know in my head that exercise is worth it, but right now I’m just not feeling it.